Since my sports predictions seem to always be way off, I freely admit that whoever I pick to win the Super Bowl this football season should quiver with fear because I will be putting the Planet Dre Whammy on them! Hey, I should have that trademarked. Anyway, here's my call for the Super Bowl in five months:
New England over Tampa Bay (in a rout, obviously)
I really do not like the "elite" teams in the NFC. Dallas has proven that they have no idea how to win big games, specifically that QB Tony Romo. The World champion New York Giants haven't proven that they know how to win big games at home. I don't think they can rely on having every playoff game on the road again. I bet if they had even one playoff game at home, QB Eli Manning would have thrown up before the game and they would have never made it to the Super Bowl. The only other NFC team I like even a little is Minnesota. No one runs the ball and stops the run on defense like those guys. But I'm not picking a team led by Tarvaris Jackson at QB to make the Super Bowl. Someone in the playoffs will find a way to slow down the Vikings run game, and when they do, it will be up to Tarvaris Jackson to win the game with his arm, and that ain't happening. So I'll pick old man Jeff Garcia and his creaky band of veteran brothers in Tampa to find a way into the Super Bowl, racking up boring 17-13 wins along the way, putting the television audience to sleep all at once. The running game is solid with the underrated Earnest Graham, the passing game is just barely good enough with 91-year-old WR Joey Galloway and whoever else they can dig up, and Garcia at QB is wily enough to not make mistakes with the football and let his defense make the impact plays. In the AFC, it's gonna be wild. Just sit back and enjoy the war. San Diego, Pittsburgh, Indianapolis, Jacksonville, New England--all teams that can claim that they are better than anyone in the NFC, and they won't get too much of an argument. I predict that after a long, grueling regular season in which New England gets beat so many times that they are in jeopardy of not making the playoffs, the Patriots wake up the morning of the playoffs, cry in their pillows at the bad memories that flood back from their last playoff game last season--where they somehow lost to the Giants in the Super Bowl--and get up with a burning passion to destroy anyone who dares challenge them this time around. I've seen it happen too many times where a team suffers a devastating loss in the playoffs and uses that experience to band together and win it all the next season. I say the Patriots do just that this time. They won't have any silly perfect season pressure on them, nor will they be running up the scores and setting all-time records. They're just going to storm the field and win every playoff game by an average of three touchdowns. And as for the Super Bowl, they will beat the Buccaneers by at least 24 points.
Thursday, September 04, 2008
Monday, September 01, 2008
...since I responded to "Karen's" personal ad and started my own personal hell. I felt blue all day Friday and couldn't figure out why, and then I realized, it's Labor Day weekend, and that's when I was bored enough to respond to Karen's online ad in 2003. But there's a silver lining, and it's my girlfriend. See, I was going to write a long sad post about how I wish I could be free of all thoughts concerning Karen considering it's been five fucking years. I was going to wonder why I still think about why she did what she did, why I still get a muscle twitch in my gut when I see in print any variation of her name or the town of Mukwonago, WI or any writings about the topic of interracial dating and marriage, why do I still want to pour bleach down her cunt, and when if ever I was going to get over the whole damn thing. But after work last night and all day today, my girlfriend has been playing text tag and e-mail tag with me, writing suggestive notes telling me how much she thinks about pleasuring me, getting me all hot and bothered. And she managed to take my mind off Karen completely. I don't know if she meant to do that, but I suspect she did. Friday night, I explained to her how frustrated I was at my inability to put Karen completely out of my head, so she knew how tortured I was all weekend. I bet she started flirting with me through text trying to make me think of something else. And boy, did it work. I had a very fun day sending dirty messages back and forth with her. There's a lesson in there somewhere about appreciating what you have in your life instead of ruminating about the garbage you've been through previously. And there's also a lesson about letting the people closest to you know how special they are to you. I surely would have been in another deep depression today if not for my girlfriend. But she loved me enough to make sure she occupied my thoughts and not some demon from my past, and she doesn't know how much that means to me.