Saturday, December 22, 2012

37 Years Of Understanding

Marriage is hard work and takes a lot of patience and understanding.  That is the understatement of the millennium.  The wife and I have seen our reverend several times since my last post, talking out a lot of differences we've been having.  It was something we needed, because we were grinding on each other's last nerve trying to communicate and not believing that the other person was listening.  Having that third party decipher our desperate screams really helped.  The wife may still think that I've been hiding things from her, but she hasn't accused me lately, so that's some progress.  We're trying to fit a sex life into our schedules, which was hard enough when she was searching for work, but will go back to being a real task once she starts working again on Jan. 2. I feel guilty about it because I've spent so much of my free time on my football blog ( that I've neglected her.  So maybe that contributes to her feeling like I'm being dishonest with her.  I don't know.  Other life stressors may also contribute, such as our messy house, our general lack of money, and the car needing thousands of dollars of repair work in the past month and still not running right.  In this Christmas season, we've done well to make time for each other and try to keep smiling and not piss each other off.  Hasn't been easy, but we've done it.  As our marriage gets some age to it and we get to know each other better and better, I think we will have no choice but to understand each other better than we did last year, our first year living together.  Although we fought this year as well, for the most past we kept the peace.  Keeping separate bedrooms helped, because no matter how still I try to stay while sleeping, I just can't stay still.  So giving her a peaceful night of sleep has made a big difference in her demeanor.  So on this, my 37th birthday, I must double down and commit myself even more than I already have to understanding my wife, communicating with my wife, and making sure that I am attentive to my wife's needs.  There have been times when she seems truly unhappy, and I hate that look on her face because it's the look you get before you call the divorce attorney.  It will be my fault if she does, because I've neglected her so much already, but it's time for me to start focusing on what she really needs from me to make our marriage worth it.