Waiting To Exhale (Bearded Version)

So my friend from Memphis has purchased her ticket and will come visit me in the middle of July. Why am I nervous as heck? We talk on the phone nearly every night, we had a good time when I visited her a few months ago, and I think we will have a good time again. I think it's just my fear of the worst. I remember all the times I thought I was on the road to happiness with all the women I dated before, and they all ended up a horrific crash on the proverbial side of the road. It's like I'm waiting for her to break my heart like all the others, and of course that's not fair to her, but this is my life we're talking about. It's always gone horribly wrong, usually at the exact moment that I think everything's wonderful and can't go wrong. But I can't tell her not to come just because I'm afraid of something that may never happen. And besides, I miss her and I really want to see her. I guess I'll just have to close my eyes and wish--or even pray--that this time, it will be different.

Nothing new happening otherwise. I'm seriously leaning towards moving upstairs in the house whose basement I currently dwell in, for no reason than all my shit is already here and I don't have to worry about moving. My aunt has already told me that I won't be on a lease, so I can leave at any time and get an apartment closer to the city if the hour+ daily commute really starts to dig at me, which it's actually starting to do now, but not enough to make me want to get ready to move again anytime soon. The job is coming along. I don't think there's a worse mistake one can make at a bank job than throwing money in the trash accidentally, and a colleague who started a week or so before me was busted for taking a big-ass UPS envelope with checks in it and wrapping it with the garbage about a month ago. I'm very curious to see what happens with her. If she gets to hang around and doesn't suffer some kind of penalty, I'll know that I can stop panicking about every little small error I might make because obviously it's not looked upon as a big deal by J.P. Morgan Chase.

But the company just did me a big favor, so I can't badmouth Chase. That much. When I called the personnel help line to find out how I can sign up for benefits now that my 90-day probation period is up, I was told that I can't. Apparently in my perpetually tired state I read the rules wrong. I didn't have 31 days after probation ended to sign up for benefits or else lose the rights for the rest of the calendar year, I had 31 days after the last month of probation started so that the benefits could kick in the moment my 90 days were done. That would be May 1 through May 31. Oops. But the helpful representative put me on hold briefly, then came back and allowed me to sign up over the phone for health coverage for the rest of the year (but not for the other benefits, such as vision and dental). I didn't even beg her for this favor, she just heard the desperation in my voice and decided to help a brother out. Customer service in America isn't quite dead yet.