Tuesday, October 30, 2007

3 Things

The blogger Grizzbabe, apparently the only person who still reads my blog, inquired last post about my girlfriend, asking that I provide more details. I decided to do that in a +3/-3 format, where I reveal 3 things I love and don't like about her. I decided to provide an actual event for each characteristic, as a way of providing some insight on her. Right off, I want to say that the list of things I love--her intelligence, natural beauty, ambition, sobriety, and the fact that she supports me and loves me, for example--runs far deeper than things I dislike, but I wanted to pick 3 things I loved that were unique to her and showed who she really is.

3 Things I Love About My Girlfriend:

  1. She is legitimately innocent. She couldn't harm a fly. The combination of her being left-handed, which gives her a level of goofy that's inherent in all left-handers, and innocent results in some real rollercoaster conversations covering all kinds of subject matter. The foremost examples to me of her innocence concern her discoveries of sexual terms that she had never heard before and her subsequent surprise at what the terms mean. Her most recent example was me offhandedly mentioning salad-tossing and her stopping me in mid-sentence to softly say, "I don't know what that means, but I'm guessing it doesn't have anything to do with salad." I don't know why I find that so fucking cute, but I do.
  2. She is very levelheaded. She doesn't do a damn thing without thinking it out and planning it beforehand. I can imagine some areas where some spontaneity would come to good use, such as in the bedroom, but I haven't experienced any problems with her yet. Short of actual penetration, which she is waiting for marriage to experience, anything I've wanted to do with her physically she's accommodated. The levelheadedness comes in when I feel the urge to open her legs wide and drive my penis into her. This is the action that has led to feelings of paranoia and mistrust on my part in all of my past relationships. If she had let me do that like all the others, then there's a good chance that mentally I would have seen her like all the other sluts no matter how civilized she acted afterwards. But she has made the decision that no matter how much she loves me, she will not let anyone break her vow to herself to wait until marriage to make love. I respect the hell out of that resolve. It feels great to be involved with someone who's going to stay the course through the hard times and be my rock and rein me in when I get too wild. Another example is the fact that she has a plan to save a certain amount of money before she sells her property and moves here and marries me. Not before she reaches that goal, though. She admits that she's not the best at saving money, but she knows what she wants to accomplish before she starts her new life here, and she's driving towards that goal.
  3. She is the embodiment of that "Lady in the street/freak in the bed" mentality that so many try to emulate but fall miserably short. (Speaking of "Karen," I recently saw a picture of her, and whoa, is she not aging well.) My girlfriend has a voice like honey and a demeanor so professional that she has the respect of all of her contemporaries. She is quick to smile and help anyone in need. My family loves her. Even my aunt, who has never liked any of my girlfriends because they were dating me and blew a joke my girlfriend made to me that I repeated to her way out of proportion, couldn't stay mad at her and constantly asks when we're taking the next step. I didn't even know that she had very large breasts after the first few times we met because she doesn't wear revealing clothing. She doesn't have to throw her body parts out in public to be a woman. Yet in private she is (after a period of time to loosen up) loving, giving, communicating her needs, and not just willing to do what it takes to keep her man happy, but is eager to learn the different ways to do it well. She recently wrote a letter expressing how much she is looking forward to learning how to please me orally in every way possible as long as I want it. My hands were shaking after reading it.

3 Things I Don't Like About My Girlfriend:

  1. She's insecure. This is truly the pot calling the kettle black, but I see how maddening it can be to love someone who is so hard on themselves. When she says that she looks in the mirror and sees something different than the woman I saw on our first date, it perplexes me. She says she felt beautiful and confident that day, but she can't replicate that feeling. She looks the same to me. She just today sent me a critique of her writing that her online teacher gave her, and she warned me that it was kinda harsh. It really wasn't. She just tends to take criticism a little personally, and again, I realize that I'm the king of taking things too personally. But I see how it affects the person on the other side, because I don't know what to tell her when she's feeling down on herself. And since we're long distance, I haven't found out yet whether my arm around her shoulder or tongue on her neck will make any difference.
  2. She's a workaholic. This drives me crazy. Yes, she owns her own house and car and has to work hard to maintain these and her other pleasures, like movies and books and cooking. But she had not taken a full week off her primary job in so long before last month that her company had to go out and hire a temp just to do all the things she does in her absence. They don't do that for anyone else in her office because the other workers have backups. No one backs up my girlfriend because she hasn't needed one all these years. She has two other part-time jobs in addition to this full-time one. Her downtime currently consists of a few nights a week, Saturday evening, and Sunday. She has caught a 6:45A plane back home on Monday morning after spending a weekend here with me because she intended to work that day. I don't imagine I would ever go to work the same day I fly home from a leisure trip. The number of vacation days she had earned when her bosses counted them all up was staggering, but she only used a handful. That dedication to her job is admirable, but I worry about her having enough energy to enjoy our downtime once we are together and sharing a large amount of downtime.
  3. Since I can't think of anything else I dislike, she loves spicy food, and I hate it. I see a lot of meals in our future where my sinuses get cleared from all the peppers. Damn Jamaican/Southern heritage. There was some dish she cooked me where she asked how was it and I said, "Would have been great if not for the spices." I get the feeling I'll be repeating that sentence many times.

1 comment:

GrizzBabe said...

This was a very good post, Dre! You did a good job of presenting a well-rounded picture of your girlfriend, and you provided lots of concrete evidence which made for a more interesting read.

Thanks for taking my request. This post was a real insight into your relationship.