To Memphis And Back, Eventually

Whew! What a whirlwind last few weeks it's been for me, so much that I'm exhausted despite having a week off work. Of course, I wasn't planning a full week off, but thanks to the airlines, that's what I wound up having. Here's what I've been up to:

I did take the time to relax during spring break, not doing much besides hanging with "Jacob" and doing several online baseball fantasy drafts. I had to write a paper for media class, though, and have it ready when class started back. I was taking it easy so much that I had to scramble and write the paper at the last second. My superior writing skills saved the day, however. Not only did I get a perfect score, but the teacher copied the paper, cut my name off, and handed it out to the entire class as an example of the way a paper should be written. As if my head needed to be made bigger.

With my grades in order, I flew to Memphis to see my girlfriend last weekend, and also to watch the 2nd annual Civil Rights Game, which happened to include my White Sox this year in an exhibition baseball game against the Mets. (The Sox lost.) This is about when my feet started giving me problems. My right foot felt a little strained before I left, then my left toe felt strained while I was in Memphis. Feet were not the body part in the spotlight during this visit. No, that would be the clitoris. See, I'm of the impression that I'm not that good at giving head to women because I've never made anyone scream and juice all over my face like on the pornos, so I had not tried to eat out my girlfriend yet even though she has given me several blow jobs since Thanksgiving. Also, the humidity makes my nose run, causing me to stop usually after about two minutes. This visit was only three days; I arrived Friday, and was supposed to leave Sunday. We had fun between the sheets Friday night, then after the rainy game and dinner, we were knocked out Saturday night. So while cuddling Sunday morning, hours before I was to leave, I asked her if she was satisfied with the amount of physical intimacy we had, and without hesitation, she softly asked, "What do I have to do to get you to go down on me?" This was something in my head the entire time I was there--I knew she was going to want this soon because we had discussed doing it before and I kept saying I was tired, or otherwise avoiding it. She reached in my pants and initiated more hanky-panky, and I returned the favor, eventually pushing the coffee table out of the way and getting on my knees and orally pleasing her for a few minutes before the angle started affecting my neck. She said she was happy with the little bit of clit teasing, but I think she was just happy to get any head from me at all. She suggested that she was starting to feel used, and I don't blame her. She's probably sucked me off more than five times now with no reciprocation. I have to up my game if I'm going to keep claiming that I have a happy relationship.

The travel adventures began after we fooled around on her couch. I checked the United Airlines website for my flight status since the weather in Memphis had been dreadful and Chicago wasn't much better, and for the first time since I started flying around a few years ago, I had a flight canceled. It was a stroke of luck that I even checked the website and found this out, because I had never done that before. Normally, my girlfriend would have driven me out to the airport, which is a half-hour from her home, and we would have wasted that gas and had to turn around. We were able to hang out Sunday night and watch baseball on TV, which I know is just her most favoritist thing on Earth, then I had a 2:15 flight the next day. Now, this screwed me up already because I had a psych test Monday morning that I was going to miss, and I had to call in to work and use an unscheduled day off. But it would get more screwy. United.com would inform me that the flight was pushed back to 5P, then later it displayed a 7P expected departure. This is a 2:15 flight we're talking here, and that's after my flight the day before was canceled. My girlfriend was going to come home from work on her lunch break and take me to the airport for that 2:15 flight, but I had to e-mail her and tell her don't bother. She wound up coming home from work early and taking me to the airport in plenty of time for this now 7P flight. So they shove us onto the plane at about 6:30, as if we're moments from departure, then the attendant grabs the mike and actually says the following: "Okay, I have an invisible shield, so anything that gets thrown at me will not hit me." You can't imagine the heart-sinking feeling that rises from hearing that. She then announced that they had been informed by the TSA that we weren't going up in the air until 9P. I had to take out my iPod and listen to nothing but smooth jazz music the entire time that we sat there just to keep myself calm, or as my girlfriend described it later, "You had to go to your happy place." People were calling airline agencies scrambling to rearrange connecting flights, although someone seemed more concerned with whether her family taped Deal Or No Deal for her. Finally, we took off at about 9, and landed at about 10:30. Jacob was kind enough to run me out to the airport when I left, and he picked me up as well, so things could have been much worse. If I had to navigate public transportation that late, I wouldn't have made it home until after midnight.

The foot problems this past week have been killer since I came back home. Between my toe joints being swollen and my ankles being twisted and tendons being inflamed, both my feet have been giving me lots of trouble. The worst was after Thursday. Knowing that I had a very long day with two classes in the morning, plus making up my psych test, plus meeting Jacob and participating in the live baseball fantasy draft for our money league that night, I wound up ingesting quite an impressive amount of caffeine on the day. I had like 3 Pepsis during lunch, then after we got to the building for the draft, I had two cups of coffee and about 4 more cans of Diet Pepsi. Caffeine is one of the no-nos for people who have gout, but I haven't had a flare-up since the Great Steroid Shot of 2004. However, I hadn't had this much caffeine at one time either, plus we did a LOT of walking around before the draft. Friday morning, I woke up with severe swelling in the joint of my right big toe, so severe that it felt like the gout pains that I had a few years ago. All I could do was avoid caffeine and red meat all day and hope that the swelling would decrease. Well, it did yesterday, but now my ankle hurts from overcompensating all day Friday. I just took an Aleve Gelcap as I prepare to go to work, so hopefully that will help me get through the day.

I'm counting down the five weeks of school that I have left now, and I feel really good about the grades that I will earn. The most interesting thing on the horizon for me is a Sick-A-Cell bowling benefit in two weeks. I attended this last year but couldn't bowl because my knee was killing me. Now, I have endless foot problems. I'm hoping that I will be okay when it comes time to bowl, because I really want to this time. I hated standing around last year feeling useless. My girlfriend is still scheduled to visit during the Sick-A-Cell walk-a thon weekend in June. As I kissed her goodbye at the airport, I assumed that she would be giving Megabus.com a try when she came to Chicago. "No, I'm gonna fly," she said. After all the crap I went through, I would have thought she would avoid the airport from now on with the much cheaper bus option now available. But I think we both have heard so many horror stories about long bus rides that we're wary of going that route. But if we're going to spend more time together, then one of us is going to have to test it out and see if it's any good. I have a feeling that I shall be the guinea pig for that project.

Oh, and Kansas has to beat Memphis in the college basketball final Monday night, or else the girlfriend wins our bracket challenge again. And I won't reveal what the bet was, but let's just say, the stakes are very very high.