My Best Man Speech

WAUSAU, WI--Here is an approximation of the best man speech I will give tonight at my best friend "Jacob's" wedding:

May I have your attention please? It's time to present a toast to the wonderful bride and groom! My name is Planet Dre, and as the best man I'm honored to give the first toast this evening. I need to thank the hosts for putting all this together, and that would be the bride's parents Dianne and Mark. Give it up for them! What a great event they put together, huh? Thank you guys very much! Now, I'm here because I've known the groom since we started 1st grade together in 1982! Can you believe that? That was so long ago, Michael Jackson was black! That's a long, long time ago. And in that time, we've seen each other through a lot of good times and a lot of bad times, and we've been there through good relationships and bad relationships. And believe me, the bad relationships were horrible beyond words! Oh my goodness! Now, that isn't news to anyone here. We've all been through tough times in relationships, every adult in here has been through it. But what matters isn't going through it, it's how you rebound, how you come out of it. And that's why I'm so happy to see Jacob happy with his new bride. Every time I see him and his bride together, they're so happy, they're always making each other smile and laugh, and it's so awesome to see! They are truly made for each other. So I just wanna say, best wishes, best of luck, and a toast to Jacob and his bride. Enjoy the many, many years of your new life together!!