Thursday, June 09, 2005
My 5-year-old Dell finally went kaplowie. I was getting tired of pop-ups coming even when I wasn't online, so I tried to remove some programs that I didn't recognize thinking they were spyware. But once I rebooted, my computer went all the way back to its infancy, asking me to reinstall Windows and whatnot. I don't have that software, so right now "Drew" is looking at it and trying to figure out if it's something he can fix or do I need to rush it to the hospital. So I'm on a public computer right now, meaning this won't be a long post. My trip to Minneapolis went fine, with one exception. I really do feel love towards "Torrie" and I didn't think anything bad would come to me by telling her this, so I did as we were getting ready to check out of the hotel. Her response: "I suck at goodbyes, so let's just get going." Thanks honey. I thought we had progressed to this natural point where I could tell her that I loved her as I explained that if there was anything she needed I would be there for her. You know, kinda wrap it in friendship so that it's not so hard to accept and give back. Wrong again, Dre. Oh well. At least that helped me realize that I need to keep my ass in Chicago for the time being no matter how much I hate this city. Going to Minnesota, even if Torrie and I don't live together initially, is not something I should be doing until I get a clearer picture of exactly where I stand in Torrie's mind. Am I a genuine boyfriend and someone she really cares for and values? Or am I a fuckbuddy that's starting to get too creepy with this love and caring shit? If only I were a mindreader. Well, enough blabbering from me, as "Karen" used to tell me at the end of her e-mails. Time to get some all you can eat crab legs with "Ronnie" and another friend. When people fail me, as they always do, food is always there for me. Sad but true.