Saturday, May 28, 2005

Totally Honest Personal Ads

Someone in an internet group posted what her personal ad would look like if she was raw and totally honest. I wish everyone's personal ad would be raw and totally honest. Then I could seek out the really desperate women, the ones I actually would have a shot at. Here's my Totally Honest Personal Ad:


Hi. SBM, 29, 6'1", obese, have no life, sometimes have no clue. My hobbies include fantasizing, video games, televised sports and fantasy leagues. I'm very lonely and have very low self-esteem, so I've settled for fat, ugly lovers who didn't respect themselves or else they never would have slept with me. ISO a woman that normal people would describe as not hideous. Must be smart, hygienic, and not frigid. Must be able to know within a half-hour of meeting me that I'm desperate and lonely and I will treat her like a queen for the rest of her natural life just out of thanks for being with me. Independence not necessary; if she lets me take care of her, I might trust her not to dump me for a better catch ten seconds after I bring her home. I don't demand much else, just that I'm a good man, looking for a good woman, so we can create some good children.

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