Why Are Men Happier?

Stolen from an MSN group--thanx Peter!

Why Are Men Happier?

Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
You can be president.
You can never be pregnant.
You never have to worry if your white T-shirt gets wet.
Car machanics tell you the truth.
The world is one big urinal place for you.
You never have to stop and think of which way to turn a bolt or nut.
Same work,more pay.
Wedding dress-$4000.Tux rental-$100.
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
New shoes don't cut ,blister or mangle your feet.
One mood all day long.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
A weeks vacation only requires 1 suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
If some one forgets to invite you,he or she will still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
Three pairs of shoes is more than enough.
You are unable to see wrinkels in your cloths.
Every thing on your face stays its original color.
Your hairstyle last for years.
You dont have to shave lower than your neck.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look like.
You can do your nails with a pocket knife.
You have the freedom of choise concerning to grow a mustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relations on December the 24th in 25 minutes.
The line up fot the gents toilets are 80% shorter.
We can apply of a job and no one will look at our butts.
All our orgasms are real.
We can go to the toilet on our own.
If they criticize our work we dont panic cause "every one hates me"
We can get showered and dressed in 10 minutes.
None of our co-workers can make us cry.
We dont have to crawl up against a hairy ass at night.
If you still single at 31,no one will fuss about it.
Where ever you are you can always eat a banana.
Fore play is only an option.
It doesnt matter if you had a hair cut,no one will notice it any way.
You can wear a T-shirt and still jump up and down.
We never have a problem at a self service gas station.
We know 20 differant ways how to open a beer bottle.
What ever we wear,we can sit down with our legs open.
Grey hair and wrinkels just gives us more character.
If we wanna scrath our "nuts"we dont have to leave the room.
With 4,000,000,000 sperm cells at a time,in theory we can multipley the world population in 15 orgasms.
The remote contole is yours and yours alone.
You can find all the sport channels on the tv.
If some one wears the same cloths as you,he's your friend for life.
If you go and visit some one,no one expects you to bring any thing.
If you buy condoms no one behind the counter will give you that look.
And we dont even have to like some one to have sex with them.