Feeling Crabby

For once, I'm not talking about my usual sunny disposition, lol. I'm talking about the all-you-can-eat Alaskan snow crab legs at King Crab on Halsted and Willow. I checked it out after work Friday, and I must have eaten a million of those things. And since the restaurant was empty in the back at the time that I went, I was able to have the television to myself, so it was a White Sox preseason game, the Michael Jordan double-nickel at Madison Square Garden from 1995 on ESPN Classic, then the college basketball games. I had a newspaper to keep me company and help me forget the solitary feeling of having a table for one, but I didn't need the paper. It's funny, as I get a little more skilled at quickly opening the envelopes at the job, I carried that over to cracking the crab shells. I hardly took a rest for two full hours, cracking shells and eating nonstop, working up the crab, if you will. I actually enjoyed a dinner by myself, and the crab was very good. I've been moving even slower than usual this weekend recovering from that gorging and just taking it easy on my last free weekend for a long time. Next week I start my regular schedule of taking Tuesdays and Wednesdays off, then going back Thursdays through Mondays. I had several moments where I thought of how I should go find a piece of tail since this was my last free weekend. But I thought about how I would go about doing that, and since I still don't and probably never will go out and try to pick women up in person, that would leave the usual--Craigslist.org, the large people's singles site where I met "Karen" and where "Grace" currently hangs out, the Yahoo groups, etc. And I'm not interested in going down that road right now. It's been thirty years of running around like a chicken with its head cut off trying to get laid. Even during the six years of celibacy from 1996 to 2002, I started looking for chicks on the net during that time, but I wasn't successful until Karen, and we know how that turned out. I'm going to chill out on that shit right now. I wish I could say that I will never go there again, but I know how I get when the weather is warm and the city is chock full of hot women dressing scantily. But it's been nothing but drama with these internet girls, and I don't feel like putting out the effort to find one desperate enough to sleep with me. There are more important things that I'm doing now, at least more important to me. My dick can wait until I meet someone who doesn't want to use me for a student loan or hasn't fucked 100 guys in the last calendar year.