That's what someone called me in a recent e-mail, a ticking time bomb. You know, all the fake nicknames and phony personalities I've imagined for myself if I ever got in shape and became a professional wrestler...and that's the best one ever. I would just walk to the ring with the usual severely pissed-off look that I always have, maybe a black towel over my head for a rugged, intimidating effect, a la Mike Tyson, and I'd stop in the aisle and look at some fan yelling obscenities in my face and I'd raise my arm backhanded as if I'm about to haul off and bitch-slap him or her, then once I got to the ring I would just grab the ring mic and go off on the crowd and get them so incensed that they would be ready to jump in the ring and lynch me. That would be fucking awesome. The Ticking Time Bomb. Wow. They always say that the best nicknames are given to you, not invented by you.
Oh, I want to add another film to the short list of powerful movies or documentaries I've recently seen that were so effective at portraying race in America that they left me literally shaking afterwards. I saw the Jack Johnson special on PBS last year, and I learned that taking a white woman across state lines and having sex with her used to be against the law, which I can't imagine. I watched Crash with "Shelley" back in November, and we were both very moved by that movie. I was surprised that it won the Oscar though--I figured everyone was just madly in love with the gay cowboys. This past week I saw Rosewood in my African American history class. That was a portrayal of what happens when one married white girl gets slapped around by one of her many white lovers back in the early 1900s and decides to yell out to the whole town that it was a nigger that did it just to try to hide the real reason that she was bruised up. Basically, the entire area gets burned and littered with black carcasses, many of them strung up from trees. Not surprising considering the times, but still very sobering. It's very easy for me to take for granted how uneventful it has been every time I've been out with a white woman. I've never had a word said to me. And I appreciate seeing movies like this to remind me that it wasn't always that way.
In other words, anyone who thinks that I hate white women doesn't know me at all.
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You pass me on the street and sneer in my direction. You call me "Cracker", "Honkey", "Whitey" and you think it's OK. But when I call you, nigger, Kike, Towelhead, Sand-nigger, Camel Jockey, Beaner, Gook, or Chink you call me a racist. You say that whites commit a lot of violence against you, so why are the ghettos the most dangerous places to live You have the United Negro College Fund. You have Martin Luther King Day. You have Black History Month. You have Cesar Chavez Day. You have Yom Hashoah You have Ma'uled Al-Nabi You have the NAACP. You have BET. You are classified as "minority" even though whites are now the true minority in 5 states. But if we applied for "minority" scholarships we would be rejected and called racists. If we had white entertainment television we'd be racists. If we had a White Pride Day you would call us racists. If we had white history month, we'd be racists. If we had an organization for only whites to "advance" our lives, we'd be racists. If we had a college fund that only gave white students scholarships, you know we'd be racists. In the Million Man March, you believed that you were marching for your race and rights. If we marched for our race and rights, you would call us racists. You are proud to be black, brown, yellow and orange, and you're not afraid to announce it. But when we announce our white pride, you call us racists. A white male is now the least likely person to get an upper class job now because businesses must be "politically correct". You rob us, carjack us, and a white cop shoots a black gang member or beats up a black drug-dealer running from the law and posing a threat to society, you call him a racist. I am white. I am proud. But, you call me a racist. A bigot. A hater. Why is it that only whites can be racists?
Who are the fucking crackheads that post on your blog?
Andre? What the hell is wrong with you!? THe bitterness act is getting old. Stop the frekaing poor me act. Funny how I haven't heard from you.
I called someone cracker and honkey and carjacked him? Whew, it's been a long week, I can't recall doing that. Maybe I was too busy selling crack or pimping that I can't remember doing those things, but if I did, I'm sorry, massah, sometimes I fuh-gits my place in da world. And saying that I did those things when I didn't is as wrong as me saying that all white women are trailer trash, which, once again, I NEVER SAID.
But to hear some of these morons, I'm a hateful, racist guy. Whatever. And let's not talk too much about the whites that are still afraid of blacks; after all, lynchings and Jim Crow spawned because whites were afraid that blacks were equal and wanted to suppress them at all costs. Wouldn't want them trying that again, no winners in a race war.
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